i just really want to end everything right now, as much as i want to live but if living means suffering the way i’m suffering then i don’t want it. i don’t want it.
+
my life is a mess/
i am a mess/
i wish i was brave enought to end all this/
i don’t want to be alive anymore/
My mom just told me I look much healthier than 2 years ago. She wanted to make me feel good. Great. I thought I was loosing, but apparently I have to try a little harder to look sick and disturbed.
wither: Here's the catch..
While others move on, graduate, get degrees, dissapear off on magical adventures, meet new people, pursue their careers and talents and dreams and become extraordinary, you are merely trying to survive.
You have been sick for so long that you forget what it means to be well. You have sacrificed…
(Source: the-glamtrash-demon-dolly, via selfworthscattered)
(Source: preserved-thoughts, via the-silently-starving-artist-de)
42460) No one cares about me unless I’m wasting away.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
42477) I secretly fantasize about making myself so ill from this that I need to go into hospital. It’s the only way I can think of to get people to take me seriously.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
42490) I need to do this.
confessionsabouteatingdisorders:
To control at least one thing in my life. It hasn’t even been that long and I can feel myself slipping further into myself. Withdrawing from conversations. From making eye contact. Thinking only about what I’m not going to eat. Sounds depressing right? Truth is I’ve never been more pleased with myself. I will control my food and beverage consumption or therefore lack of, frankly because I can’t seem to control anything else.
It’s amazing how I can hide my suicidal mind with just a smile. How I can hide my scars and cuts with a hoodie and say I’m cold. How I can tell people I’m fine and they believe me. How I can tell people I ate a big breakfast so I don’t have to eat lunch, when I really didn’t eat breakfast. How I can tell people I didn’t sleep good when my eyes are puffy from crying uncontrollably. It just amazes me how much I can hide.
(Source: thebladeismybestfriend, via the-silently-starving-artist-de)
(via 90orless)
(via m-asochism)
41844) I just want to be fragile.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
41855) No, you can’t just tell me to help myself to your food as you go to bed. Don’t you realize I’m a monster? Don’t you see how easily I could tear apart your whole kitchen right now? Don’t you see how I will just eat it and then dispose of it through your toilet? Why am I the only one who sees how much of a beast I really am? Stop being so nice, I’m a monster. I don’t deserve your hospitality.
(Source: confessionsabouteatingdisorders)
